Life is Reality

Life is reality. Why I say so its because I felt that people are reality human beings. Once you are of no used to them, they will find certain excuses to avoid you. My current situation is like this. I think friends are not really friends to me. Sometimes I think they just want to use me because I am useful to them in schoolwork and etc... When out of the school, they will try to tell you alot of reasons to avoid meeting you. Sometimes I felt lonely and sad when I heard them saying this. Is it I'm too close to them or I'm a disturbance. I don't know. I never pester them like msging them and calling them everyday. Just once in a while I say wanna go out just once, but sadly the tone and attitude they give me breaks my heart. I felt lonely and upset. I don't feel any true friends around me..It's like all the friends that I have known are just merely school mates not even friends... I am just a tool to them. When a tool is broken or of no use, you can just simply throw it away.

Sad but there is no choice for me and I also do not have the time to get moody over this things. The coldness they give me, I want to forget it. Are friends just a merely existence, I do not know the answer. Once I have try to contact a few friends, planning to go out when we have not meet for so long, but all I could get is a no reply or "I'm busy" I'm busy too but I still leave some time free for friends but I was wrong. Some even give me the tone like they don't feel like going out with me. Why so? Even when we have graduate, aren't we still friends? So now I have decided that if they do not want to contact me or anything, I will not contact them myself. I don't want to face any coldness again. Its really upset to see this, for people who have not experience this before you will not know how I feel. For now, I just want to focus on my career, I have decided to earn money and live the way I want to be.